I liked the story, but noticed a few punctuation mistakes (periods instead of question marks, missing commas).. As a play I can see that this would be an entertaining production. Everything down to where a character looks is mapped out in the story. There is also a lot of dialog conveying most of the story. I would love to see this on stage. This is meant for children. It has mystery, magic, suspense, and more. I could see a teacher using this as an outline and script for a school/class play. I really enjoyed this graphics. They really add to the story, and help to help relay how a scene should look. With changes to fix the punctuation mistakes. With added said... asked... exclaimed... the story would be better executed and understood. I would raise my rating if these changes were done. This has a lot of potential, and as I said above, it would make a great play t watch and perform.